D3 body, D1 cock
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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