Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
