Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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