i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
