dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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