me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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