AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
