He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
