she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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