This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
