That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
