She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
