I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
