i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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