In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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