Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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