fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
