what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
