she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
