It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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