What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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