I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
