so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
