I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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