you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize