No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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