i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
