Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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