the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
