I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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