Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
