So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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