David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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