I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
