think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I want to fling myself into the sun
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
