I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
