It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
