nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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