so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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