took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
