Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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