you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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