I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
