I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
MIDGETS
????
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
