I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
