Sry I called you an 8
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it glows. i had to have it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
