we're blogging at a bar
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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