we have officially lost it.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
