I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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