Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
