I just saw a hot homeless man
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
